I was four years old when I started school. Real school. The same school as my two big brothers and my next door neighbours. There was myself and two boys. At the beginning it was just the three of us. Can you imagine how excited I was when, in Grade 3, another girl joined us. An instant best friend. I was elated for months.
Even though I know I must have been around eight years old when I met her, in my childhood memory she is always there. She was always a part of our town, and she still is.
I didn’t just fall for her, I fell for her family, her sisters. Having no sisters of my own I remember thinking her life must be as good as it gets.
We were always pretty close, sometimes we would fight, I would cry a lot and we would become friends again. She was older than me in every sense, she was clever and pretty and I thought she was great.
But I left.
I didn’t really go back.
I was still a kid.
She was thrown into an adult world, a torturous adult world.
She lost her precious baby boy. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of it. The story is not mine to tell, even if it was I do not have the words. I pray I never have the words.
She lost her Mother. Her beautiful, placid Mother. She cared for her and watched her fade away before her eyes, while her younger sisters were still children.
And still she smiles. She married her childhood love. Raised an adorable little man. And still she smiles.
I noticed the other day she liked a quote on Facebook, it was along the lines of ‘have you ever missed someone so much you cry each time you think of them?’ I wanted to cry for her. For the unimaginable pain that she has endured, for the emptiness inside her, for her courage, her strength, for the fun times we had. Mostly I wanted to go back 15 years and see it all done differently. Maybe I would be around. Maybe she could hold her son. Maybe her Mum could meet her children.
It is ten years since your precious baby boy was born. Yesterday you celebrated his birthday. I thought of you. Every Australia Day I shall think of you.
I am so sorry.
I wish you happiness.
Chocolate Slice
Base
1 cup rolled oats
6 medjool dates, seeds removed*
1 tablespoon cacao or cocoa
1/2 teaspoon concentrated natural vanilla extract
pinch of salt
Place the ingredients into your blender or food processor and blend at high speed until the mixture forms a ball. This takes a while but it will happen.
*You may need to double the dates, give it plenty of time but if it isn’t coming together add extra dates. The dates are also much softer if you store them at room temperature.
Press the mixture into a loaf tin.
Topping
1/2 cup rolled oats
4 tablespoons hulled tahini
3 tablespoons honey
2 tablespoons cacao or cocoa
1/2 teaspoon concentrated natural vanilla extract
pinch of salt
Pulse the oats until they are ground, you do not have to be to pedantic about this, a bit of texture is fine. Add the remaining ingredients and quickly pulse to combine. Spread the mixture over your base and return to the fridge to set. Enjoy!!!