The third trimester has brought with it a vast array of bizarre symptoms that I have not experienced before. Most of these symptoms, such as the return of all day and night morning sickness, are undesirable. They are worth it, but undesirable nevertheless.
However, there is one symptom that I’m hoping sticks around.
I have become deeply present. I do not know how else to explain it. My mind has slowed down, my to do list has become somewhat irrelevant. I feel undistracted. I feel focussed on the things that matter to me.
I’m finding myself wanting to do nothing more than take long baths with my two little ones smiling at me from the other end, walk around the block holding their hands or hang out at the park and catch up with friends.
I can lie on the couch curled up with my blanket and my babies and read countless books without thinking that I should be doing this and should be doing that.
But most of all I am loving the times when we are all together. The weekends when Dad is around and we can just be together. These are my favourite days of all.
Perhaps it is because, on some subconscious level, my mind knows that the relaxed and peaceful pace we are used to will soon be thrown into chaos. The most beautiful, rewarding and perfect kind of chaos, but chaos nevertheless.
Perhaps it is because I know that these moments as just we four will never be again. Although I couldn’t be happier to be welcoming another precious little one into our world a part of me wants to capture what we have as a family of four. A part of me wants to soak up the one on one moments with each of my loves knowing that for a while, one on one will not be so easy.
A part of me just wants them to know how loved they all are.
That their happiness is my happiness.
That this family is my everything.
That they are my life, my world and despite how tired or cranky or emotional I may be in a few months’ time, I want them to remember that and to know it right down to their core.
I want them to never question my love for them. I want them to feel it just as they feel their own heart beating.
So perhaps this is why I have found myself in this space. This beautiful, present, somewhat unproductive but amazing space.
I hope it sticks around.
Almond Macaroons
- 5 tablespoons almond butter
- 1 rounded tablespoon honey*
- 1 cup desiccated coconut
- Preheat your oven to 175°C or 350°F and line a tray with baking paper.
- Place the ingredients into your processor and blend until the mixture is well combined and sticking together. Use your hands to shape the mixture into balls. Place the balls onto the baking tray and into the oven.
- Bake for 10 minutes. Turn the tray half way through cooking. Remove from the oven and leave on the tray for 10 minutes before gently transferring to a cooling rack to cool completely.
- Serve. Eat. Enjoy.
*you can use rice malt syrup if you prefer.