Two years ago today I gave birth to my little angel. It was one of the hardest days of my life.
I still think of her.
I still see the space where she should have been.
I still dream of her little face, of her delicate, fragile and perfect body only to wake and feel her drift away despite my heart clinging on.
And while I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone, I am acutely aware that if I had her I wouldn’t have my precious little Juliet.
I wouldn’t have the baby girl who traps me with her kisses, who lives on my hip and wants for nothing more. The little girl who shares my juices and bliss balls and smiles every time. The little girl whose face lights up whenever her eyes catch mine.
I’ll never stop missing my angel and my heart will always hurt when I reflect on the day she was born.
But with time I have learnt to give thanks for the gifts I was given in the short time we shared.
With time my wounds have healed following the birth of my rainbow baby, the scars remain but the rawness has subsided.
Happy Birthday my forever baby. Thank you for the time we shared and the gifts you gave. Xx
If you would like to read about the birth of my angel baby you can do so here.
Four Ingredient Peanut Butter Cheesecakes
- 250 grams full fat cream cheese, roughly chopped
- 5 tablespoons peanut butter
- 4 tablespoons honey*
- 200 grams 85% dark chocolate, melted
- Place the ingredients into your processor and blend until the mixture is smooth and well combined. Spoon the mixture evenly into the holes of a silicon, mini muffin tray. I made 12. Press the mixture down and level the tops. Place the mixture into the freezer for three or more hours to set.
- Remove the cheesecakes from the freezer and use two forks to dip them into the melted chocolate. Once dipped sit them onto a flat tray or plate lined with baking paper and place them in the fridge to set.
- Serve. Eat. Enjoy!
*you can use rice malt syrup if you prefer.
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7 comments
Oh what a poignant day for you x She will live in your heart forever and know that I, and many, many other people send you their love, heartfelt wishes and hopes that the pain will ease. With you in thought and spirit, love from Wendywoo x
Wendywoo I am missing you!!!! Thank YOU! I appreciate your kind words, as always! I hope you are going well. xx
What beautiful words. 11 years ago today I lost my daughter Sophie when she was 16 days old. I was looking for something special to make for my other children (as we do something special each year). Looks like I’m making a yummy looking chocolate peanut butter cheesecakes. Thank you and so sorry for your loss x
Noreen I am so sorry. So very sorry. I cannot imagine your pain. I hope you and your children had a warming and comforting day. Sending love. x
My heart breaks hearing about your loss. Enjoy your family on this special day. I’m sure Sophie is all around you and helping. Sending lots for virtual hugs x
[…] note – the mixture is a little wet, if you want to firm it up before shaping into balls you can place it into the freezer for twenty minutes. I haven’t need to do this. Alternatively, you can use the method outlined in this recipe. […]
[…] Place the cream cheese, honey, vanilla and coconut into your processor and blend until smooth and well combined. Add the raspberries and blend to combine. Use your hands to shape the mixture into balls and place onto a plate lined with baking paper. Place the balls into the freezer for 30 minutes. Melt your chocolate in a small bowl a few minutes before removing the balls from the freezer. Use two forks to dip each ball into the chocolate, once coated place the balls onto a plate lined with baking paper and into the fridge to set. Eat and enjoy! *you can use rice malt syrup if you prefer. note – the mixture is a little wet, if you want to firm it up before shaping into balls you can place it into the freezer for twenty minutes. I haven’t need to do this. Alternatively, you can use the method outlined in this recipe. […]