As a mum I am going through a bit of a tricky time right now. Six years ago I was blessed with an adorable baby girl. We were spoilt; she has always been a placid, easy going child with a delightful nature. She still is. But lately she can also be defiant and rude, hurtful and argumentative. I love this girl to pieces. I learn from her constantly. I miss her when she isn’t around and genuinely enjoy her company. But I don’t know what to do right now. I suspect the best approach is to overdose her with love, but my behaviours do not always reflect this thought. It is breaking my heart just a little; it is making me doubt myself. I feel confused and unsure and at times hurt and frustrated.
I do believe it will pass, that it is just a stage. But I still feel that I need to manage it as best I can and right now I am not doing that. I don’t know how to do that.
I don’t doubt that it is all perfectly normal child behaviour; I think the problem is that what we are seeing is so very out of character for our little girl. We have never expected or seen this in her and I think it has taken us all by surprise.
She is still a lovely little person with a kind heart and a compassionate mind. She is still selfless and generous, but she seems to be in a difficult place. It is almost as though she is testing out her role in this world or perhaps finding her boundaries.
At the same time her little brother continues to be his gorgeous but demanding self. Is this the problem? Is it a delayed reaction to having a sibling who requires so much of her Mum and Dad, when she herself is, and always has been, very independent? Am I not finding enough time to play? Or is it an inevitable stage, an integral part of her development?
I am trying to keep it light, to not read too much into it. To, as I best I can, simply observe, love and let it pass. It isn’t easy. This mum gig may well be the best job ever, but it isn’t easy.
Jaffa Bread
2 cups almond meal
10 medjool dates, seeds removed
1/4 cup cacao or cocoa
1/2 teaspoon concentrated natural vanilla extract
pinch of salt
zest of two oranges (2 – 3 tablespoons)
4 eggs
1/4 cup macadamia oil
1 teaspoon bicarb soda
Preheat your oven 175 degrees Celsius or 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
Grease and line a loaf tin (mine is 19cm x 9cm) with baking paper.
Place the almond meal, dates, cacao or cocoa, vanilla, salt and zest into your blender or food process and blend until the mixture is crumbly and the dates finely chopped.
Add the eggs, gently pulse to combine.
Add the oil, gently pulse to combine.
Add the biacrb, gently pulse to combine.
Spoon the mixture into your prepared loaf tin and bake for 35 – 40 minutes, until an inserted skewer comes out cleanly. Allow to cool in the tin for five minutes before flipping onto a cooling rack. Enjoy!